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One and One and One is Three

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DAY SIX – “A Monster Performing a Mundane Task”

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God I hate this. Go buy groceries for the party, she says. Why are we even having a party? We hate our neighbours and the last of our friends were run out-of-town months ago. But noooooo, we have to be neighbourly, she says. Maybe if we get to know them, they won’t run us out-of-town too. That’s about as likely as Dracs joining our softball team, Sunday afternoons! Ugh. Where do I even find bean dip? Maybe I’ll ask the guy re-stocking soda. Why though? He’ll just yell at me to go away or worse, he’ll run away screaming. I hate when they run away screaming. Okay, come on. We can do this. It’s just a human boy. I’m sure he’ll see that I am just trying to buy some groceries.

I mean, it’s like they think I’m going to eat them. I’m a vegetarian for chrissakes! If I was going to hurt anyone, why would I have tried to join the Neighbourhood Watch? Oh, that went real well, didn’t it? Forget it. I don’t think we really need bean dip any way. If she wants bean dip so badly, she can come buy it herself. Stupid party. I just want to sit at home and listen to my records and maybe have a nice scotch. Is that so demanding? No! I deserve it. That’s it. I’m putting my foot down. I am going home and telling her, absolutely NO party and if she doesn’t like it, tough cookies! Yes. Let’s do this. Just slowly put your basket full of goodies down and walk out. Come on! You can do this. One, two, three….OH WHO AM I KIDDING? I’m more terrified of her than the neighbours are. I better just finish this list. Stupid party. Stupid town. Stupid life. I never asked for this! Sigh. Oh well. Let’s just get through this one task first. Ah! There it is, bean dip. $9?! COME ON! What, did they use beans made out of unicorn poop? Speaking of unicorns, I should give Lady Amalthea a call. That would tick off the ol’ ball and chain. Serves her right for making me buy $9 bean dip. 

Okay let’s take a look here, have I got everything on the list? Looks like it. If I forget anything I’ll never hear the end of it. THE PARTY IS RUINED AND EVERYONE HATES US BECAUSE YOU FORGOT THE BEAN DIP YOU MONSTER! I can hear it now. Sigh. Maybe I should just let the pitchforks and torches get me. Bean dip. Come on. 

 

DAY FIVE – “A Mysterious Device”

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“What do you think it is?” “Gary asked.

“Ain’t got the slightest clue but I don’t think I’d touch ii if I was you,” replied Kevin.

“Oh, you just want to scare me off so’s you can claim it for yerself, but I reckon I seen it first.”

“Fine ya lug nut, but can’t say I didn’t warn ya and that’s exactly what I’ll tell your wife, ‘cuz I sure as shit ain’t gonna to be on the receiving end of that woman’s wrath again,” Kevin said as he threw his hands up in the air and stepped back. Gary laughed.

“You always was chicken shit around her, but Christ, she’s your damn sister. You’d think you could take it by now.”

“Ya, well, you’d think wrong. REAL wrong.”

“I reckon it might be some sort of government technology. You know? I heard all sorts of rumours that there’s those secret government facilities throughout this part of the county. This thing musta just fallen off a convoy of some sort. Hell, maybe it’s even alien! Imagine that, Kev!” Gary took off his hat and wrung it in his hands with childlike glee.

“Don’t be such a dummy. I’ll wager your drinks at the game this Friday that this thing ain’t no government and it sure as shit ain’t no alien technology neither.”

“Well, then, what the heck is it and why’s you so scared to touch it?” Gary felt a small victory after he said that. Kevin cut that victory short with one quick glare. “Ah hell, Kev, you know you got a glare as bad as your sister’s. No man should be able to glare like that.”

“If you want to touch it, go right ahead. I s’pose if it were radioactive we’re properly fucked at this point anyway.”

“Well, all right. Here goes nothing. I’m just going to pick it up now. Aliens, if this is yours, I ain’t tryna steal it, so no need to abduct and probe me. Maybe Kevin’d like it. I heard he was a little wild in the seventies, eh Kev?” Another brief victory was cut down to size by the look in Kevin’s eyes. “Just messin’, Kev. You know it.”

Gary bent down and picked up the mysterious device.

“Well?” Asked Kevin.

“I rightly don’t know,” replied Gary. Gary examined it closer. It was dirty as if it had been buried and it smelled like shit but it was definitely advanced technology as far as he could tell. He just had no clue as to what it may be or what it might do. Just then the school bus pulled up to the house and Gary’s grandson hopped off. He ran across the lawn to greet the two men,

“What are you two old kooks doing out here?” He asked.

“Found something you might find pretty damn interesting, Junior. Just take a look at this.” Gary held out the device and Junior began to laugh. “What’s so funny?” Gary asked him.

“Well, it’s definitely interesting. That’s dad’s old Zune! He thought he lost it years ago.”

“What in sam hell is a Zune?”

“It’s…it’s…ah never mind. It’s junk. The dog musta buried it years ago and dug it up. I wouldn’t imagine that it even works now.” Junior took the Zune from his grandfather, threw it in the trash, and ran off into the house.

“Well,”

“Ya, Kev?”

“Guess yer buyin’ the drinks at the game on Friday.”

“Ya, Kev. I reckon I am.”

The end.

DAY FOUR – “An Unlikely Candy”

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J.B.

Text if you can’t read it:

There once was a small jellybean named J.B.
J.B. went to Sugar High with the rest of his Candy friends.
His best friend was Henry the chocolate bar.
J.B. and Henry did everything together.
One day a new student came to Sugar High.
She was an apple named Motts.
The rest of the candy made fun of Motts.
They called her fruit and told her she wasn’t candy.
But J.B. And Henry came to her defense.
They reminded everyone that apples had plenty of natural sugars.
So Motts was as candy as the rest.
Now J.B. And Henry have a new best friend!
The end.

DAY THREE – An Unfit Means of Travel

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“I’m telling you, Doc, this’ll work.”

“And I’m telling you that there is no freaking chance that it will!”

“You’ll see, Doc. You’ll see.”

Jeremy took a running leap and spread his arms as wide as he could. He was pretty damn sure he could fly. His friend, Doc had his doubts. Doc stood back on the roof and closed his eyes. He didn’t feel much like watching his friend break his neck. He’d done his part in trying to talk Jeremy out of it, but it was no use. Jeremy had made up his mind hours ago when he found his father’s cape in the attic.

Jeremy had never met his father but he always had a sneaking suspicion that he was an important man. His mother never spoke about him and would always deflect whenever Jeremy would inquire. Then one day while up in the attic, Jeremy found a cape. It didn’t immediately scream out its importance to Jeremy but the longer he held it in his hands, the more he just knew.

He told his friend Doc about the cape but Doc had no interest in enabling his fantasies. Doc was a realist and it was one of the reasons they got along so well. Doc always kept him grounded. Not this time, though. There was nothing that was going to keep him grounded. Not while he was wearing his father’s cape.

Doc’s eyes were still closed when Jeremy’s feet left the safety of the roof.

“I’ll show you all!” Jeremy shouted. Doc waited to hear the thud and cry of pain, but it never came. He opened one eye and then the other and looked outward. He couldn’t see Jeremy anywhere. Doc ran to the edge of the roof and looked down. He expected the worst but to his surprise he saw nothing but the mattress they had set, “just in case.”

“JEREMY?” Doc shouted. “Where are you?” He stood on the roof, scanning the horizon but saw nothing. He began to worry and started to dial emergency. Then, out of seemingly nowhere, he felt a strong breeze at his side.

“I TOLD YOU, DOC! I TOLD YOU!” It was Jeremy and he was, against all rationality and logic, flying.

“Well I’ll be a monkey’s uncle,” Doc muttered. “Let me try, Jer!”

Jeremy landed beside his friend, removed his cape, and placed it on his friend’s back.

“I don’t know if it’ll work for you, Doc,” he warned. “It may be a family thing.”

“I guess we’ll find out, won’t we?” Doc replied.

Doc began his run and without looking back took a giant leap. Jeremy watched intently, hoping for the best, but Doc crashed immediately. His shoulder was separated and he was pretty sure his collar-bone was broken. He cried out in pain and Jeremy, without thinking, leaped from the roof to help his friend. Doc cried out again, he thought Jeremy, the damn fool, was about to crash down on top of him. To his surprise, Jeremy never did. He hovered above Doc and lifted him from the mattress.

“Goddamn, Jeremy! This hurts!”

“I’m sorry, Doc. I guess it wasn’t the cape after all.” Jeremy admitted.

DAY ONE – “Someone or Something Experiencing Flight”

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“We have to get going,” Tom stated. “We’re already behind all the neighbours.” Marie popped her head up and scanned her surroundings.

“I know,” she replied. “And were I worried about keeping up with the Joneses, I may share your urgency, but I’m just not sure they’re ready, Tom.”

“Of course they’re ready,” Tom scoffed. “You’re the one that isn’t ready.”

“It’s just too soon,” she pleaded.

“Maybe you’re right, but it’s always been this way. You don’t want to coddle them, do you? They’ll be teased relentlessly and you know it.”

“I’m not coddling them!” Marie raised her voice in frustration, “what if they really aren’t ready, Tom? What then?” Tom paid no attention to the increase in volume as he sidled up next to Marie. He rested his head on hers,

“You’re just being over-protective,” he said. “It’s in your nature and it’s one of the things I love most about you, but it is also in your nature to KNOW that it IS time. We cannot put it off.”

“I know it. I do.” Marie sighed heavily. She turned around to address her children, “Tomas, Henri, and Genevieve.”

“Yes mama,” they spoke in unison.

“Please step forward,” she ordered. Each did as they were told. “Now children, today is a special day,” she addressed them as she paced back and forth as if she were Head Mistress.

“Why Mama?” Tomas asked.

” Tomas, please don’t interrupt me,” she scolded.

“Sorry Mama.”

“As I was saying, today is a very special day in your young lives. It is a day your father and I have been preparing you for since you were born. You may have noticed friends your age have been moving ahead of you and I am sorry for that. I think though, that you’ll find yourselves better prepared and further along in your development. I only want what is best for all three of you.”

“Yes Mama.” They spoke. At this point Marie had moved behind her children as they remained facing forward at attention. She turned to Tom and he gave her the reassuring nod she needed. She moved forward pushed all three of her children simultaneously from behind. They plummeted and she couldn’t bear to watch.

“Oh Tom! What have I done? I can’t look!” She buried her head into Tom’s neck. Tom didn’t say a word, he just stared forward, waiting, knowing. Then it happened.

“Look, Marie, look!” Marie turned her head from Tom and saw. Her three beautiful children in full flight; dipping, diving, gliding, they were perfection in her eyes. “They’re perfect,” Tom stated as if he saw it in Marie’s eyes.

“Oh, Tom! They’re doing it! They’re flying!” Marie was overjoyed. She spread her wings and joined her children mid-air. Tom watched from the nest with loving eyes.

“This is why we’re here,” he thought to himself. He took another moment to watch in awe and then joined his family in flight.

The end.

30 Day Challenge …Challenge Accepted!

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I don’t write nearly as often as I would like to. It ranges from lack of ideas to sheer laziness. I also feel, for the most part, that I am writing for a non-existent audience. I’m lucky if five of my friends take the time to click a link I share and luckier still if three of them actually read what I’ve written. I don’t blame them. I haven’t brought much to the table worth reading. So, what I have decided, is that I need a gimmick. Something to kickstart my stalling need to produce.

I have a lot of artist friends and many of them have done, in various incarnations, a “30 Day Challenge.” In these challenges they are given a list of thirty items that they draw/paint/interpretive dance over a period of thirty days. Now, I am sure there are actual writing challenges out there as well, but I have decided to take one from the art world. Knowing that it is designed for the visual art world to me makes it slightly more challenging to convey with the written word.

It will be anything from short stories to poems to random musings to research papers. Okay – no research papers, but you get the idea.

I may thrive. I may drive an eighteen-wheeler over a cliff. Some of them are going to be quite tricky. We shall see. Either way, I will get this baby started tomorrow for the month of May (I know, I know, May has 31 Days. Someone will have to add a 31st challenge).

Hopefully I get some eyeballs and also some feedback. Here is the list:

30 Day Challenge

 

Who knows, maybe I’ll even add a stick figure illustration for each day as well.

Light comes from within

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“Describe to me your perfect woman.”

“Alive.”

“Very funny. I’m serious. Describe her. I don’t mean physically. I’m not interested in that. I mean describe Her to me, with a capital ‘H’.”

“Christ. I don’t know.”

“Yes you do. Imagine her directly in front of you right this moment. What is she doing?”

“Smiling.”

“Good. Again though, I don’t mean physically.”

“Neither do I. Her smile is so much more than that.”

“Go on.”

“It’s every cliché you can possibly dream of. I mean, when God said, ‘Let there be light,’ she smiled. It’s the type of smile that could pull me out of the deepest depths of hell and self-pity. When she is smiling, her entire soul is exposed and instead of that fact terrifying her, she only smiles larger. And her laugh, God, her laugh.”

“Describe it.”

“No, I mean her laugh IS God.”

“I’ve never known you to be a religious sort of man.”

“I wasn’t before I heard her laugh. Before I felt that smile. Before her eyes saw right through me and still accepted me. Still loved me.”

“Do you think most people who see you, don’t accept you? Don’t love you?”

“None of them would matter because of her.”

“And do you think you’ll find her? Do you think she exists?”

“I think I’ve given up most hope that she does, but maybe a glimmer. One last-ditch effort to break out of the darkness.”

“So, you’re really looking for a light. A guiding beacon, if you will?”

“I don’t know.”

“It sounds to me that is exactly what you are doing. The danger is that you are searching for this light in someone else. You won’t find it there. You won’t find it in a soul mate or in religion. It’s in you. It really is. It is a light that comes from within. I can see it. I can see so much of it in you. That glimmer of hope you speak of isn’t that there is a perfect woman out there and that you’ll find her, it’s that glimmer of light inside and it’s ready to break out and do for you what you hope this perfect woman will. I’m not saying that you won’t find your soul mate or that you won’t find happiness in God – even, but you have to find it inside first. You want to talk clichés? No one can truly love you, until you truly love yourself.”

“I don’t know what light it is you see in me, but at this point it’s just dying embers.”

“Then stoke them. It’s up to you.”

“One last thing though about that perfect woman…”

“Stop looking for perfection, you’ll never find it. You’re not perfect. I’m not perfect. Perfect doesn’t exist.”

“I know…”

“Then what?”

“I was just going to say that along with the smile, she’d better love Bright Eyes.”

“Look at that, a smile.”

“I guess I was due.”

 

 

Written by josiahh

April 29, 2014 at 4:22 PM

Dear Cadence

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Cadence sat alone on the floor. Situated in the corner of her room, legs pulled up into her chest, she rested her head on her knees and sobbed. She had no idea how she had gotten there or why she was crying. The only thing she knew in that moment was an overwhelming sense of sadness and that she had been here before.   Nothing of any particular significance had happened that day. She woke up, went to school, ate lunch with her friends, answered three questions correctly in class, and stopped to chat with crossing guard on her way home. When she arrived home, she kissed her mother and father, patted her husky on his head and went upstairs to her room. It was only when she closed the door behind her that the weight of the world came crashing down on top of her. It was an unbearable weight that forced her to the ground. That was when she sought solace in the corner.

As she continued to sob, Cadence thought of every happy image that she could muster. She thought of her mother and father. She loved them more than anything in the world. She thought of the day her parents let her pick out Orwell, her husky. She thought of kissing Jessie Hopkins behind the Social Studies portable. She thought of her best friend Kyla. They’d done everything together and had never been in a fight. She thought of rainbows and kittens and warm woollen mittens, but nothing could stop her steady stream of tears. She was convinced that she was broken. She wanted to scream out for help but had no idea how to explain to anyone what was wrong. If she told her parents she was sad, they’d ask her why, and she would have no answer for them. She just was. She couldn’t handle someone telling her to “buck up” or that her life was wonderful. She knew her life was wonderful. That fact made her feel even worse for being sad. She scolded herself between each sob.

There was a knock at her door. Cadence ignored it at first hoping that the person on the other side would take the hint. She didn’t want anyone to see her like this. She had cancelled plans in the past to avoid the inevitable questions people would have if and when she began to cry uncontrollably. Most days she wouldn’t, but the days when she could feel it coming, she just wanted to be alone. There was a second knock and then a third. Cadence couldn’t move and she wasn’t sure she wanted to any way. There wasn’t a fourth knock. Cadence felt a small amount of relief but a larger feeling of regret crept in.

Ten minutes passed when a piece of paper slid beneath Cadence’s door. She looked over at it with an intense curiosity. It seemed as though her body was going to allow her to move just enough to pick it up. She slid herself out of the corner far enough to reach the note. She picked it up and read it.

“Our dearest Cadence,

You are not broken. We are here for you when you are ready to talk. We will ALWAYS be here for you.

Your loving, devoted, ADORING, parents.”

 Cadence held the note tight to chest and closed her eyes and breathed. She wasn’t ready yet, but she had hope that she soon would be. The weight of the world was too much to bear for one person. She knew that now.

Written by josiahh

November 16, 2013 at 5:32 PM

The Reluctant Pumpkin

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Casey didn’t like Hallowe’en. One might even say her dislike for the day bordered on hatred. She thought it silly to dress up as something or someone who you’re not. Her parents tried to encourage her to be more open to the idea. They said she could be a princess, a firefighter, a zombie, a zombie firefighting princess! Anything her heart desired, they promised they would make it happen. The only thing Casey’s heart desired was to be left alone. Her parents were not able to make that happen.

Casey’s parents LOVED Hallowe’en. They were two peas in a pod (literally one year) when it came to the holiday. They looked forward to October 31st the other 364 days out of the year and when it arrived, they went all out. They spent countless hours planning their costumes, decorating the house (both inside and out), and singing silly songs. Casey had a particular distaste for a certain French song her parents would sing called, “C’est l’Halloween.”

This year Casey’s parents decided to throw a Hallowe’en party for all their friends. Casey was not looking forward to having her house filled with vampires, zombies, nurses in questionable attire, and the like. She begged her parents to let her spend the night at her Grandmother’s house. She was mortified when her parents told her that her Grandmother would be attending the party dressed as a wolf dressed as a grandmother.

Casey threatened to run away if her parents pressed her to dress up. She knew that they knew she was bluffing. What was the point of running away? She’d be out on the street surrounded by those same vampires, zombies, and inappropriately dressed nurses. She’d be swarmed by little devils and was certain she’d see a wrecking ball or two. She decided to stay where she was and protest the evening silently. Her parents may be able to make her dress in a costume, but they won’t be able to make her speak. No sir. She would show them.

Later that evening the guests began to arrive. In walked former President Bill Clinton and his wife former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, or as Casey better knew them, Aunt Carol and Uncle Darren. A zombie, a werewolf, and two angels were next. There were no other kids yet and Casey didn’t expect any to arrive. She was always the only kid at these things. She hated that almost as much as she hated Hallowe’en itself. When you are the only kid somewhere, you become the focal point of the evening to every adult in the place. Hallowe’en was even worse because they would all have to tell her how cute she looked even though she knew she looked silly.

Casey couldn’t believe the costume her parents had made her wear. She was a pumpkin. A PUMPKIN! How embarrassing, she thought. Casey wove in between the various ghouls and ghosts, trying to remain inconspicuous. She had yet to say a word but no one had really taken notice, which was a good thing, but they all thought she was just being shy or that she was intimidated by all the scary costumes. She most certainly was not.

Casey’s Grandmother arrived as promised, a wolf in Granny’s clothing. She hugged Casey as best she could but couldn’t get her arms all the way around her pumpkin. She assured Casey to not be scared as she was still Gramma May underneath. Casey nodded in agreement and her Grandmother handed her a Baby Ruth and told her not to tell her parents where she got it with a wink.

Casey’s parents were dressed as Scrabble letters. Her dad was the letter I while her mom was the letter U. They tried to tell her that the costume had to do with something called a pick up line that her dad used back when he first met mom at school. She didn’t know what a pick up line was nor did she care. She was just glad that both her parents were fully clothed this Hallowe’en.

Casey parked herself on the living room couch. She couldn’t see very well over top of her pumpkin tummy. Various costumed grown ups would pat her pumpkin and tell her how great she looked and how she was the cutest pumpkin that they had ever seen. Casey nodded and smiled every time. She was bored. The adults looked like they were having all sorts of fun with silly games and lots of wine. It was still early but Casey just wanted to go to bed. She felt a tap on her pumpkin but couldn’t see who it was. She shuffled on the couch to get a better view and standing in front of her was another little pumpkin.

Casey’s heart fluttered. That little pumpkin was a boy named Luke. He smiled and said hello. Casey smiled back but remembered her silent protest and merely waved. Luke pointed over to his parents who were dressed as Alice and the Mad Hatter and scrunched his nose while sticking his tongue out indicating his embarrassment. Casey giggled and did the same after pointing to her own parents and Grandmother. Luke laughed and Casey followed suit. Suddenly she wasn’t bored anymore.  Casey still hated Hallowe’en but she supposed under the right circumstances she could see why it might be fun. The reluctant pumpkin had found a new pumpkin friend.

 

Written by josiahh

October 31, 2013 at 6:26 PM

Chapter II: The Heart is Something You Can’t Control

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This is Chapter II. Chapter I, “Heart in Hand, Feet on Ground” is here.

CHAPTER II

Ingrid arrived home several hours later. She burst through the front door like the morning sun through a bay window. Her glow touched every last item in the house. From the Grandfather clock in the living room to the half eaten bowl of cereal still sitting in the kitchen sink, nothing was left uncovered.

Ingrid’s mother, who had been worried sick about her daughter, still sat on the couch. She leapt to her feet but Ingrid ran  past her without acknowledgement and directly up the stairs to her bedroom. Ingrid would later claim to have not seen her mother in the living room, and if she did see her, she certainly did not mean to be rude. She would never dream of ignoring her mother.

No, she simply needed to get to her room and more specifically, her journal. Ingrid had something important she needed to write, and she feared the longer it stayed inside her head, the longer she waited to write it down, the less likely the pages of her journal would be willing to accept her words. She needed her words to be accepted.

She opened her top drawer, removed her journal, and opened it to the next available page. She took the lid off of her favourite pen and began to write. She was content to have touched pen to paper, but it would not be until fifteen years later that the contents of that journal entry would be revealed.

As Ingrid put the cap back on her pen and placed her journal back in its proper place, her mother appeared at her bedroom door.

“Ingrid?” She tentatively spoke.

“Mother!” Ingrid joyfully replied.

“What on Earth is going on, Ingrid?”

“Life, mother! Life!” Ingrid stood up from her desk and walked over to her mother. She hugged her tight and kissed her cheek. Her mother had never felt such beautiful warmth. “Let’s grab some dinner, I’m starved!”

Untitled

Written by josiahh

July 24, 2013 at 9:23 AM