When it Rings Will You Answer?

One and One and One is Three

Posts Tagged ‘short story

The Interview

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“I should not be considered a role model.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Quite certain. I mean, my first song was called ‘Fuck the Kids, I Hope They All Die.”

“But most took that as satire.”

“Oh, I meant it.”

“You truly hope the kids all die?”

“I haven’t got any. Why not? What have they done for me?”

“Bought your records. Made you rich.”

“All right. I suppose my next song will be titled, ‘I Hope the Kids Don’t Die Until Their Parents Have Spent Their Money on Me.”

“You seem like an angry man.”

“You seem like a weak one.”

“What makes you say that?”

“”You clearly despise me but you would lick my boot for a decent quote. You’re a parasite, and for what?”

“Believe it or not, I happen to like what I do and most people I interview are quite pleasant and thankful for the exposure.”

“You’re just another writer that couldn’t come up with an original story to write so you chase them instead.”

“Have you ever read anything I’ve written?”

“I don’t even know your name.”

“Thankfully, despite your worst intentions, you really have given me a goldmine here.”

“I know.”

“You do?”

“Write your little story. Call me an egomaniacal asshole. You’re helping us both.”

“Who’s the parasite now?”

“Still you.”

Written by whenitringswillyouanswer

July 31, 2014 at 5:27 PM

She Loves You Yeah Yeah Yeah

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He loved her, this much he knew, but the depths to which he did, not even he could comprehend. Her smile lit his entire world. He knew its detail right down to the spots she had damaged from grinding her teeth in her sleep. He loved those spots the most. He was enamoured with every last one of her flaws. He never saw them as flaws. He only saw them as parts of a whole. He saw them as what made her, her.

Her insecurities were rampant. She found accepting such unconditional love a difficult thing to do. She thought him a fool for loving a wreck like her, but oh, how she loved him too. His childlike optimism fuelled her on a daily basis. No matter how dire the situation, he found the silver lining and never let her fall back into her old habit of running away and hiding.

A leaky roof meant a closer connection to nature. She scoffed. When that leak turned into a hole, he praised the lord for providing them with a skylight. She cried, but inside smiled at his effort. Things like not having enough money for a nice vacation simply meant they’d get to spend more time with friends and family. She didn’t particularly like her family, but figured his was okay enough. He was her rock. She was his life.

The day he asked her to marry him came as a shock to no one but her. They’d never discussed marriage, and although she loved him more than anyone she ever had or ever could, she had never once in her life considered marriage a viable option. She was flabbergasted and annoyed with him for the sudden monkey wrench. She said no. She moved out the next day.

He drank himself to sleep nearly every night for a month. One night he had run out of Scotch, so he decided to leave the apartment and go to the corner store. He was still drunk from the previous twenty-seven bottles and hadn’t seen the light had turned red. He stepped out onto the road and was struck by car. He was rushed to the hospital immediately.

Later that evening, she walked into the room and sat by his side. She called him a stupid fool. She told him that she hadn’t slept that entire month. All she could do was relive the moment of his proposal over and over in her head and scream YES as loud as she could instead of no. When he awoke and saw her there at his side, the first words out of his mouth were once again a proposal.

This time she said yes.

Written by whenitringswillyouanswer

July 10, 2014 at 5:48 PM

100% of the Shots You Don’t Take

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“How do you feel about her right now?”

“I don’t know how I feel. I’m trying to figure that out.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it.”

“It’s not. I swear.”

“Well you better figure it out soon because I can guarantee you that right now there are a million other guys who know exactly how they feel about her. Hell, I’m practically in love with her myself, and I’ll tell you this much, a girl like that has a lot better suitors than the likes of you. For some reason you have a foot in the door. Don’t fuck it up. Tell her why she should let you step in.”

“I have no reason to give her. I’m not sure she should let me in.”

“Well, then you’re a fucking idiot and you don’t deserve her. I’m telling you right now, find the words and just fucking say them, OUT LOUD, TO HER. Stop being a coward and step up.”

“And if she doesn’t feel the same way?”

“Christ. It’s obvious to everyone but you. You really don’t deserve her if you can’t honestly see it.”

“I KNOW.”

“You can spend your whole life looking for every little reason why you don’t deserve to be happy or you can just say fuck it all and be happy. It’s your choice. It’s that simple. I’m done trying to make you see that. If you want to be miserable and alone, then do it. Just know you blew your chance to be with an amazing person because you were too scared to tell her how amazing she was.”

“I don’t know.”

“I guess that’s the problem. It’ll be too late by the time you do. Figure it out, man. Figure it out.”

Written by whenitringswillyouanswer

June 23, 2014 at 6:04 PM

DAY EIGHTEEN – “A Destructive Force”

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“I love you so fucking much. Do you know that?”

“Of course I do and I love you too, but you and I both know that this just isn’t working.”

“Do we? I can’t picture waking up without you beside me.”

“You slept on the couch last night.”

“It was a figure of speech, darling.”

“And there is that tinge of resentment creeping into your voice. I’m so tired of feeling resented. I’m exhausted.”

“How can you think that? I don’t resent you. Not one single bit.”

“You gave up everything to move here and it’s not working. You’d have to be a machine to not even the littlest amount of resentment crawl into your heart. To be honest I feel it too.”

“You resent me?”

“I feel all this pressure from you. I feel like I have to be perfect to be the person you want me to be. I’m not perfect. I’m not that person. I’m a fucking wreck and it’s because of you. It’s because of how much I love you.”

“You think I don’t feel pressure? I had a career and friends and my family, and I put them all on the back burner to be here with you. To make this work. I didn’t make that decision lightly and I certainly didn’t make it alone. You practically begged me to move here.”

“I know. I know. I KNOW. I panicked. I thought I was losing you. I wasn’t ready for that to happen.”

“But you’re ready to lose me now? To lose us?”

“That’s not fair.”

“You’re fucking right it’s not fair. Nothing about this is fair. Fair isn’t even in the same fucking state as us.”

“I know and I’m sorry.”

“Oh. You’re sorry. Perfect. I guess everything will be peachy keen now.”

“What do you want from me? I’m trying to be honest with you and all you can do is stick to your passive aggressive sarcasm routine. Do you want me to pretend that everything is okay? I’ll wear a plastic smile until the day I die if that’s what will make you happy.”

“I want you to love me. I want you to be happy. I want to be happy.”

“And are you? Happy? I do love you. I love you with every last ounce of my soul, but I’m not happy. I haven’t been happy for a very long time. You can lie to yourself and to me as much as you want but you haven’t been happy either. I can see it in your eyes and I can feel it when you kiss me.”

“No. I’m not happy, but I still think we can be.”

“Deep down, do you really?”

“I love you. Isn’t that what matters?”

“I love you too. Please understand that I do. But sometimes love isn’t enough. Sometimes love is more destructive than constructive. We’re killing each other. We are. You have to see it. You have to feel it.”

“Maybe we’re meant to.”

“Kill each other? I don’t think I love you quite enough to kill you.”

“Well, I guess that’s something.”

“It’s a start.”

“So, this is really it?”

“I think it has to be.”

“For good? I mean, forever?”

“For now.”

 

DAY FIFTEEN/SIXTEEN – “An Animal with Super Power”/”An Unlikely Pair”

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“I have a pitch meeting with the network in fifteen minutes and I’ve got absolutely nothing to pitch. I’m up shit creek here, pal.” Lenny paced back and forth while his friend Phil offered him a solution,

“Take a hit of this,” he held out a fully packed bong and lighter. “It’ll get those creative juices flowing.”

“You want me to go into a meeting with the network, high?! Are you crazy or just stupid?”

“Stoned, man. Stoned.”

“Christ. Okay, how about this, a comedy about a group of friends that live in New York and they hang out at a coffee shop and fuck, I’m just pitching Friends.”

“I like it.” Phil offered. “You know what you should do though?”

“No! I don’t. Hence the shit creek. Tell me Bob Marley, what should I do?”

“Okay – so there’s this dog and it’s got like super powers and its sidekick is a cat and like they fight crime and shit and then the super villain or like you know the nemesis or whatever is a fucking animal control guy who is secretly plotting to kill all the animals in the world. Fuck yeah. I’d watch that.”

“You’ve smoked yourself completely stupid.”

“Nah man. I think I can still get dumber.”

“Well, fuck. A dog and a cat, fighting crime together. Why not. It’s not like they’ll laugh me out of the room.”

“Exactly, man. Just walk in like you own the fucking place. Confidence, dude. Like that fucking cat and dog, man.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah man.”

Written by whenitringswillyouanswer

May 16, 2014 at 3:16 PM

DAY FOURTEEN – “Instructions to a Simple Task”

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Danny sat in the middle of  an uncomfortable couch located at the front of the office. It was leather and looked beautiful. She figured it must have cost an awful lot but it was also rock solid. She felt as though she were sat on a slab of marble. She flipped through an old copy of NOW Magazine before putting it down and retreating into her own head. She was nervous. She was anxious. She was petrified of what was about to happen. It was a simple job interview but she needed it badly. To say Danny had been struggling this past year would be understatement. She’d fallen backward into old patterns after losing her job to “cutbacks” and a “bad economy.”

“People just don’t read anymore,” her former editor told her as he rubbed her lower back. “I have to make some difficult decisions when it comes to our writing staff. It’s come down to you and TJ and I need to know that you’re willing to go the extra mile.” His hand remained on her lower back. “Are you willing to go that extra mile, Danny?” Danny felt her skin crawl. She couldn’t believe what was happening. Here she stood, her livelihood on the line and this man she’d once respected attempting to parlay that into some sort of sexual advantage. Danny walked out of her former editor’s office that day and never looked back. From the office she went straight to the bar and also never looked back.  She regretted not reporting her harasser to the police, or the very least, to the owners of the newspaper. There was still time, she thought. Karma will get that man. I will make sure of that.

Danny spent the majority of her time drinking and arguing with different strangers in different dark rooms. She joked with them all that she was a walking cliché; an out of work writer that drinks too much and writes too little. She’d woken up one morning in the apartment of one of those strangers, splitting headache and no memory of what had happened. She decided then that she had had enough.

The interview was with an upstart blogging website called, “RISE.” It dealt largely in politics but also dabbled in music, art, and film. Danny had been reading it for some time now and when she finally decided to contact the editors to ask about job openings, she got a reply almost immediately to “come in and chat.”

She hoped to hell that there was a woman in that room waiting for her. She then began to get upset that she felt she had to hope that. Once again her nerves were taking over. Danny held out her hand and saw that it was shaking. She needed a drink. She was letting anxiety get the best of her and felt a panic attack coming on. Not again, she thought. Not this time. This potential job means too much. She felt she was losing control and the marble slab began to feel more like a cast-iron frying pan at full heat. She opened her purse and dug through it. She felt for her flask. It was cold in her hand. She wanted desperately to take it out and drink it down. She let it go and continued to dig. She found what she was looking for. It was a note from her father that she’d carried with her since she was thirteen. It contained the simplest of instructions that always seemed to help her. All it said was, Remember to breathe, kiddo. I love you. Danny took a deep breath and exhaled.

“Danny?” She heard a voice call. Danny looked up and smiled.

“That’s me.”

“Come on back, Danny. Let’s find out if you’re ready to Rise.”

DAY ELEVEN/TWELVE – “Favourite Character as a Zombie”/”Make Believe Occupation”

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We should have listened to that crazy Doctor. His name was Dr. Vincent Singh. He tried to warn us. His laboratory assistant was the first to fall victim. Who could have ever believed it though? An insane scientist claiming to have perfected cloning.

Of course, ‘perfecting’ certainly wasn’t the right word for it. He’d created an abomination and when he and his assistant, Jenks tried to undo the unconscionable, they only made things worse.

You see, it wasn’t actually human. Dr. Singh hadn’t perfected cloning at all. No, he had created a copy of a human being, but it lacked that essence in each of us that made us human. Some people believe it’s a soul, me? I don’t know what I believe any more.

It attacked as they tried to subdue it. “I’m wearing you down, baby. I’m wearing you down.” It taunted them relentlessly. It became overpowering and Jenks snapped. Dr. Singh claimed to see it in his eyes. He was no longer human. He was one with their abomination. He was Urkel.

It’s been fifteen months since the “infection” first spread. The entire world thought it was an elaborate hoax or some advanced viral marketing. We all thought it was just another  Buzzfeed “Hey, remember THIS” type of nostalgia. It was why no one believed what was really happening. We didn’t know the end of humankind was coming.  We were all wrong. It was nostalgia, but the nostalgia was spreading. It was taking over. You could fight it off at first, but eventually, you gave in to it.

There are a select few, myself included, who appear immune to it. We were recruited by the government, at least what’s left of it, to fight back. It has been a struggle but we have made minor progress in ending the relentless question of “Did I do that?” We are A.U.N.T.* and this is our story…

TO BE CONTINUED…

 

*Anti-Urkel Nostalgia Troops