When it Rings Will You Answer?

One and One and One is Three

Archive for July 2014

The Interview

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“I should not be considered a role model.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Quite certain. I mean, my first song was called ‘Fuck the Kids, I Hope They All Die.”

“But most took that as satire.”

“Oh, I meant it.”

“You truly hope the kids all die?”

“I haven’t got any. Why not? What have they done for me?”

“Bought your records. Made you rich.”

“All right. I suppose my next song will be titled, ‘I Hope the Kids Don’t Die Until Their Parents Have Spent Their Money on Me.”

“You seem like an angry man.”

“You seem like a weak one.”

“What makes you say that?”

“”You clearly despise me but you would lick my boot for a decent quote. You’re a parasite, and for what?”

“Believe it or not, I happen to like what I do and most people I interview are quite pleasant and thankful for the exposure.”

“You’re just another writer that couldn’t come up with an original story to write so you chase them instead.”

“Have you ever read anything I’ve written?”

“I don’t even know your name.”

“Thankfully, despite your worst intentions, you really have given me a goldmine here.”

“I know.”

“You do?”

“Write your little story. Call me an egomaniacal asshole. You’re helping us both.”

“Who’s the parasite now?”

“Still you.”

Written by josiahh

July 31, 2014 at 5:27 PM

She Loves You Yeah Yeah Yeah

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He loved her, this much he knew, but the depths to which he did, not even he could comprehend. Her smile lit his entire world. He knew its detail right down to the spots she had damaged from grinding her teeth in her sleep. He loved those spots the most. He was enamoured with every last one of her flaws. He never saw them as flaws. He only saw them as parts of a whole. He saw them as what made her, her.

Her insecurities were rampant. She found accepting such unconditional love a difficult thing to do. She thought him a fool for loving a wreck like her, but oh, how she loved him too. His childlike optimism fuelled her on a daily basis. No matter how dire the situation, he found the silver lining and never let her fall back into her old habit of running away and hiding.

A leaky roof meant a closer connection to nature. She scoffed. When that leak turned into a hole, he praised the lord for providing them with a skylight. She cried, but inside smiled at his effort. Things like not having enough money for a nice vacation simply meant they’d get to spend more time with friends and family. She didn’t particularly like her family, but figured his was okay enough. He was her rock. She was his life.

The day he asked her to marry him came as a shock to no one but her. They’d never discussed marriage, and although she loved him more than anyone she ever had or ever could, she had never once in her life considered marriage a viable option. She was flabbergasted and annoyed with him for the sudden monkey wrench. She said no. She moved out the next day.

He drank himself to sleep nearly every night for a month.¬†One night he had run out of Scotch, so he decided to leave the apartment and go to the corner store. He was still drunk from the previous twenty-seven bottles and hadn’t seen the light had turned red. He stepped out onto the road and was struck by car. He was rushed to the hospital immediately.

Later that evening, she walked into the room and sat by his side. She called him a stupid fool. She told him that she hadn’t slept that entire month. All she could do was relive the moment of his proposal over and over in her head and scream YES as loud as she could instead of no. When he awoke and saw her there at his side, the first words out of his mouth were once again a proposal.

This time she said yes.

Unrequited Love

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Written by josiahh

July 10, 2014 at 5:20 PM