When it Rings Will You Answer?

One and One and One is Three

Archive for September 2012

You’re like the Tom Petty of Pettiness

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Quick random thought:

How petty is it that I will first click on ‘See Friendship’ and check to see if that person wrote happy birthday to me on my birthday before I will write happy birthday on their wall?

That is actually a rhetorical question because I know that is pretty much as petty as you can get. It takes little to no effort to write happy birthday. Hell, most people just go with ‘HBD’ at this point. Technology may keep us connected but it most certainly does not keep us close.

“Did you call your father to say happy birthday?”

“No. I shot him a text with ‘HBD’ and posted on his wall. That should be good enough”


It is a sad state of affairs, my friends. I am not going to change. I just wanted the world to know that I am aware of my own idiocy.

And so on.

Love always,


…although, with that said, it DOES take little to no effort to say happy birthday, and that jerk didn’t say it to me, so…YEAH!


Written by josiahh

September 18, 2012 at 10:20 AM

Chapter I: Three Quarters

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“Can you believe it?!” She threw her arms in the air and twirled with such enthusiasm that even the most callous of souls would have smiled. He’d wanted to stay angry but he couldn’t help but smile. In fact, he hadn’t smiled that large in years. He wasn’t even sure if he had ever truly smiled until that very moment, three-quarters into her twirl. He thought it silly but he suddenly became self-conscious of every cup of coffee he’d ever had. Every sip of red wine he let slip past his teeth.  He raised his hand above his head and brought it down an inch from his face as if he were dropping the curtain to end Act I and his smile was gone.

“Believe what? I’m not sure what it is that has gotten you so excited.” Her hands dropped to her hips as she cried,

“You lie! You no good, dirty, rotten…” He couldn’t help but laugh at the scene she was making. He counted three solid foot stomps and the huff to end all huffs. “OH! So now you laugh at me?! You have some nerve…” Her hands had left her hips and returned to the sky. He was more sure now than ever that he loved this girl.

She was the most ridiculous human being he had ever met. She loved musicals, hated chocolate, refused to acknowledge the 2009 American Idol results, thought any pasta sauce that wasn’t from a can or cost more than 99 cents was horrid, and she truly, deeply believed that the world stopped spinning when she wasn’t around. He was beginning to believe this much was true. “Tell me the truth! You know why I am excited! Why I feel the need to dance and twirl and sing!”

“If I admit that I do, will you promise not to sing?”

“Of course not! I’ll sing whenever it pleases me to do so. You’ll just have to live with it.”

“I suppose there are worse things I could be forced to live with. I actually find your singing to be quite soothing. At the very least it seems to keep the raccoons out of the garbage at night.”

“You are a mean, mean boy. I don’t know why I put up with you.”

“I happen to know why.”

“Please, enlighten me, oh wise and magnificent one!”

“You love me.”

“I do?”

“You do.”

“You seem fairly sure of that. Maybe it’s true.” She stuck her tongue out and scrunched her face, he fell even deeper. There was no coming back from this. No, this was it. This is what they write sonnets about, he thought. He then immediately thought, sonnets? Do they still write sonnets? He let an amused chuckle slip, realizing how far off track he had just veered.

“I have a confession,” he admitted. “I happen to be quite fond of you as well.”

“I’m leaving. You don’t deserve me!”

“Did I say fond? What I meant was that I am head over heels in love with you. I am saddened by every second that passes because that is one less second I have left in this life to spend with you, but at the same time I am ecstatic that you let me spend those lost seconds with you in the first place. None of that even makes any sense at all. I guess what I am trying to say is that I am bat shit crazy for you.”

“You’re such a romantic.”

“It sounded better in my mind,” he conceded. “Now let’s get going or else we’ll be late.”

“So you do know! You’ve planned something! You handsome sneak!” She flung herself towards him and threw her arms around his neck. It was clear that she was not planning on letting go. With that, they began to walk towards the door.

Written by josiahh

September 4, 2012 at 5:24 PM