When it Rings Will You Answer?

One and One and One is Three

Archive for December 2012

Lenny Bruce is Not Afraid

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“It’s not the end of the world you fool! No, no, no! You sweet, beautiful, stupid boy, the world has only just begun! Get off that couch and go outside and see for yourself. The city is bustling and the world is very much alive.” She teased him and grabbed his coat from a nearby chair and tossed it his way.

“I can’t go out. I am in my pyjamas!” He pleaded.

“Are you mad?! In your pyjamas is the BEST way to go out! In fact, to ease your neurotic mind, I am going to put MY pyjamas back on. We’ll pretend that we are still students, eat breakfast in public, pyjamas on full display, and we’ll talk about solving the world economic crisis as if we’d actually passed Econ 101. Doesn’t that sound like the perfect start to the day?”

“But…I did pass Econ 101, and what would be the point in solving any crisis now?”

“Quiet you.” She disappeared briefly into the bedroom and returned in her pyjamas as promised. “Well?” She asked. He shrugged his shoulders and said nothing. “Some days I am not sure why I bother with you. You’re not THAT handsome.”

He leapt from the couch and put his arms around her. “I most certainly am!” He protested. “Let’s go then. I will solve the HELL out of any economic crisis you throw my way, and I will also look damn good while doing it.”

“That’s the spirit. If Lenny Bruce is not afraid, why should we be?”  She smiled.

“You’re as clever as you are adorable. I suppose you are right. If it were the end of the world, we wouldn’t be here, would we?”

“Certainly not. After all, we ARE the world. It can’t possibly end without both our verbal AND written consent.”

They both laughed and headed outside, pyjamas on display for the remaining world to see.


Written by josiahh

December 21, 2012 at 12:01 PM

I’m Wide Awake, It’s Morning

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I love mornings. I really do. I don’t necessarily enjoy waking up. I mean, who WANTS to wake up from dreaming about throwing the Super Bowl winning touchdown with no time left one the clock while also playing a sold out rock show on Mars? NO ONE! However, once I am awake, mornings are wonderful. I don’t sleep much and my mornings tend to begin before most others’. I have always been partial to living my life by the Leonard Cohen mantra, “The last refuge of the insomniac is a sense of superiority to the sleeping world,” and I often do have that artificially inflated sense of superiority in the early mornings. They are a time of relaxed reflection; a brief moment of zen before the harsh realities of life come crashing through the window with the sun and the noise of the city.

Of course, I prefer morning when I don’t have to get out of bed to mornings I have some place to be. I’m not about to be walking to work at five in the morning Whistling Dixie. I’m not a maniac. Yet, even on those mornings, walking the normally bustling city streets of downtown Toronto, there is something oddly comforting about the silence. A nod to the prostitute still trying to make her way. A tip of the cap to the early morning delivery trucks and a wink to the ending night shift workers thankful to see the morning crew arrive. All right, so maybe I am a bit of a maniac.

The mornings I truly love, are the mornings I have absolutely nothing to do. The mornings I can make a pot of coffee, climb back into bed, put on an album, and reflect. Some times on happy thoughts. Some times on friendships lost. Some times on what I want to be when I grow up. Some times not. Some mornings I will just sip my coffee and be completely void of all cognitive functions, and  some mornings I will have the urge to write. I suppose that is what happened this morning thanks to my putting on the album, “I’m Wide Awake, It’s Morning.”

Could mornings be better? Absolutely. My mornings would be monumentally better if I woke up next to someone I loved. I could share all my crazy with her. We could sip our coffee, listen to Bright Eyes and scoff at the still sleeping world. Alas, for now, I will wake in solitude. I’ll find her one of these days. Thanks for reading friends.

Written by josiahh

December 8, 2012 at 12:13 PM

Burned Out Lights on His Christmas Tree

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 the burned out lights on his Christmas tree don’t bother him one bit
 because in his mind they’re only sleeping
 just waiting to be lit
 he’ll patiently wait until Christmas day for his burned out lights to wake
 but if they don’t, he won’t be upset
 because the burned out lights on his Christmas tree
 just weren’t ready yet.
 So he’ll pack them up for another year
 and wait and wait and wait
 for his burned out lights to perform would bring him Christmas cheer.

Written by josiahh

December 5, 2012 at 12:23 PM