When it Rings Will You Answer?

One and One and One is Three

Posts Tagged ‘sentimental

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they loved each other
it was a selfish love
they kept it hidden from the rest the world
it was not ready for its beauty

they built a home for their hearts
their bodies would then follow
they did not need anything else
they would not have known if they did

they loved each other
it was anything but selfish
the world would be ready
but not today

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Written by josiahh

January 3, 2015 at 11:27 AM

She Loves You Yeah Yeah Yeah

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He loved her, this much he knew, but the depths to which he did, not even he could comprehend. Her smile lit his entire world. He knew its detail right down to the spots she had damaged from grinding her teeth in her sleep. He loved those spots the most. He was enamoured with every last one of her flaws. He never saw them as flaws. He only saw them as parts of a whole. He saw them as what made her, her.

Her insecurities were rampant. She found accepting such unconditional love a difficult thing to do. She thought him a fool for loving a wreck like her, but oh, how she loved him too. His childlike optimism fuelled her on a daily basis. No matter how dire the situation, he found the silver lining and never let her fall back into her old habit of running away and hiding.

A leaky roof meant a closer connection to nature. She scoffed. When that leak turned into a hole, he praised the lord for providing them with a skylight. She cried, but inside smiled at his effort. Things like not having enough money for a nice vacation simply meant they’d get to spend more time with friends and family. She didn’t particularly like her family, but figured his was okay enough. He was her rock. She was his life.

The day he asked her to marry him came as a shock to no one but her. They’d never discussed marriage, and although she loved him more than anyone she ever had or ever could, she had never once in her life considered marriage a viable option. She was flabbergasted and annoyed with him for the sudden monkey wrench. She said no. She moved out the next day.

He drank himself to sleep nearly every night for a month. One night he had run out of Scotch, so he decided to leave the apartment and go to the corner store. He was still drunk from the previous twenty-seven bottles and hadn’t seen the light had turned red. He stepped out onto the road and was struck by car. He was rushed to the hospital immediately.

Later that evening, she walked into the room and sat by his side. She called him a stupid fool. She told him that she hadn’t slept that entire month. All she could do was relive the moment of his proposal over and over in her head and scream YES as loud as she could instead of no. When he awoke and saw her there at his side, the first words out of his mouth were once again a proposal.

This time she said yes.

100% of the Shots You Don’t Take

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“How do you feel about her right now?”

“I don’t know how I feel. I’m trying to figure that out.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it.”

“It’s not. I swear.”

“Well you better figure it out soon because I can guarantee you that right now there are a million other guys who know exactly how they feel about her. Hell, I’m practically in love with her myself, and I’ll tell you this much, a girl like that has a lot better suitors than the likes of you. For some reason you have a foot in the door. Don’t fuck it up. Tell her why she should let you step in.”

“I have no reason to give her. I’m not sure she should let me in.”

“Well, then you’re a fucking idiot and you don’t deserve her. I’m telling you right now, find the words and just fucking say them, OUT LOUD, TO HER. Stop being a coward and step up.”

“And if she doesn’t feel the same way?”

“Christ. It’s obvious to everyone but you. You really don’t deserve her if you can’t honestly see it.”

“I KNOW.”

“You can spend your whole life looking for every little reason why you don’t deserve to be happy or you can just say fuck it all and be happy. It’s your choice. It’s that simple. I’m done trying to make you see that. If you want to be miserable and alone, then do it. Just know you blew your chance to be with an amazing person because you were too scared to tell her how amazing she was.”

“I don’t know.”

“I guess that’s the problem. It’ll be too late by the time you do. Figure it out, man. Figure it out.”

Written by josiahh

June 23, 2014 at 6:04 PM

DAY EIGHTEEN – “A Destructive Force”

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“I love you so fucking much. Do you know that?”

“Of course I do and I love you too, but you and I both know that this just isn’t working.”

“Do we? I can’t picture waking up without you beside me.”

“You slept on the couch last night.”

“It was a figure of speech, darling.”

“And there is that tinge of resentment creeping into your voice. I’m so tired of feeling resented. I’m exhausted.”

“How can you think that? I don’t resent you. Not one single bit.”

“You gave up everything to move here and it’s not working. You’d have to be a machine to not even the littlest amount of resentment crawl into your heart. To be honest I feel it too.”

“You resent me?”

“I feel all this pressure from you. I feel like I have to be perfect to be the person you want me to be. I’m not perfect. I’m not that person. I’m a fucking wreck and it’s because of you. It’s because of how much I love you.”

“You think I don’t feel pressure? I had a career and friends and my family, and I put them all on the back burner to be here with you. To make this work. I didn’t make that decision lightly and I certainly didn’t make it alone. You practically begged me to move here.”

“I know. I know. I KNOW. I panicked. I thought I was losing you. I wasn’t ready for that to happen.”

“But you’re ready to lose me now? To lose us?”

“That’s not fair.”

“You’re fucking right it’s not fair. Nothing about this is fair. Fair isn’t even in the same fucking state as us.”

“I know and I’m sorry.”

“Oh. You’re sorry. Perfect. I guess everything will be peachy keen now.”

“What do you want from me? I’m trying to be honest with you and all you can do is stick to your passive aggressive sarcasm routine. Do you want me to pretend that everything is okay? I’ll wear a plastic smile until the day I die if that’s what will make you happy.”

“I want you to love me. I want you to be happy. I want to be happy.”

“And are you? Happy? I do love you. I love you with every last ounce of my soul, but I’m not happy. I haven’t been happy for a very long time. You can lie to yourself and to me as much as you want but you haven’t been happy either. I can see it in your eyes and I can feel it when you kiss me.”

“No. I’m not happy, but I still think we can be.”

“Deep down, do you really?”

“I love you. Isn’t that what matters?”

“I love you too. Please understand that I do. But sometimes love isn’t enough. Sometimes love is more destructive than constructive. We’re killing each other. We are. You have to see it. You have to feel it.”

“Maybe we’re meant to.”

“Kill each other? I don’t think I love you quite enough to kill you.”

“Well, I guess that’s something.”

“It’s a start.”

“So, this is really it?”

“I think it has to be.”

“For good? I mean, forever?”

“For now.”

 

DAY FOUR – “An Unlikely Candy”

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J.B.

Text if you can’t read it:

There once was a small jellybean named J.B.
J.B. went to Sugar High with the rest of his Candy friends.
His best friend was Henry the chocolate bar.
J.B. and Henry did everything together.
One day a new student came to Sugar High.
She was an apple named Motts.
The rest of the candy made fun of Motts.
They called her fruit and told her she wasn’t candy.
But J.B. And Henry came to her defense.
They reminded everyone that apples had plenty of natural sugars.
So Motts was as candy as the rest.
Now J.B. And Henry have a new best friend!
The end.

DAY ONE – “Someone or Something Experiencing Flight”

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“We have to get going,” Tom stated. “We’re already behind all the neighbours.” Marie popped her head up and scanned her surroundings.

“I know,” she replied. “And were I worried about keeping up with the Joneses, I may share your urgency, but I’m just not sure they’re ready, Tom.”

“Of course they’re ready,” Tom scoffed. “You’re the one that isn’t ready.”

“It’s just too soon,” she pleaded.

“Maybe you’re right, but it’s always been this way. You don’t want to coddle them, do you? They’ll be teased relentlessly and you know it.”

“I’m not coddling them!” Marie raised her voice in frustration, “what if they really aren’t ready, Tom? What then?” Tom paid no attention to the increase in volume as he sidled up next to Marie. He rested his head on hers,

“You’re just being over-protective,” he said. “It’s in your nature and it’s one of the things I love most about you, but it is also in your nature to KNOW that it IS time. We cannot put it off.”

“I know it. I do.” Marie sighed heavily. She turned around to address her children, “Tomas, Henri, and Genevieve.”

“Yes mama,” they spoke in unison.

“Please step forward,” she ordered. Each did as they were told. “Now children, today is a special day,” she addressed them as she paced back and forth as if she were Head Mistress.

“Why Mama?” Tomas asked.

” Tomas, please don’t interrupt me,” she scolded.

“Sorry Mama.”

“As I was saying, today is a very special day in your young lives. It is a day your father and I have been preparing you for since you were born. You may have noticed friends your age have been moving ahead of you and I am sorry for that. I think though, that you’ll find yourselves better prepared and further along in your development. I only want what is best for all three of you.”

“Yes Mama.” They spoke. At this point Marie had moved behind her children as they remained facing forward at attention. She turned to Tom and he gave her the reassuring nod she needed. She moved forward pushed all three of her children simultaneously from behind. They plummeted and she couldn’t bear to watch.

“Oh Tom! What have I done? I can’t look!” She buried her head into Tom’s neck. Tom didn’t say a word, he just stared forward, waiting, knowing. Then it happened.

“Look, Marie, look!” Marie turned her head from Tom and saw. Her three beautiful children in full flight; dipping, diving, gliding, they were perfection in her eyes. “They’re perfect,” Tom stated as if he saw it in Marie’s eyes.

“Oh, Tom! They’re doing it! They’re flying!” Marie was overjoyed. She spread her wings and joined her children mid-air. Tom watched from the nest with loving eyes.

“This is why we’re here,” he thought to himself. He took another moment to watch in awe and then joined his family in flight.

The end.

Light comes from within

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“Describe to me your perfect woman.”

“Alive.”

“Very funny. I’m serious. Describe her. I don’t mean physically. I’m not interested in that. I mean describe Her to me, with a capital ‘H’.”

“Christ. I don’t know.”

“Yes you do. Imagine her directly in front of you right this moment. What is she doing?”

“Smiling.”

“Good. Again though, I don’t mean physically.”

“Neither do I. Her smile is so much more than that.”

“Go on.”

“It’s every cliché you can possibly dream of. I mean, when God said, ‘Let there be light,’ she smiled. It’s the type of smile that could pull me out of the deepest depths of hell and self-pity. When she is smiling, her entire soul is exposed and instead of that fact terrifying her, she only smiles larger. And her laugh, God, her laugh.”

“Describe it.”

“No, I mean her laugh IS God.”

“I’ve never known you to be a religious sort of man.”

“I wasn’t before I heard her laugh. Before I felt that smile. Before her eyes saw right through me and still accepted me. Still loved me.”

“Do you think most people who see you, don’t accept you? Don’t love you?”

“None of them would matter because of her.”

“And do you think you’ll find her? Do you think she exists?”

“I think I’ve given up most hope that she does, but maybe a glimmer. One last-ditch effort to break out of the darkness.”

“So, you’re really looking for a light. A guiding beacon, if you will?”

“I don’t know.”

“It sounds to me that is exactly what you are doing. The danger is that you are searching for this light in someone else. You won’t find it there. You won’t find it in a soul mate or in religion. It’s in you. It really is. It is a light that comes from within. I can see it. I can see so much of it in you. That glimmer of hope you speak of isn’t that there is a perfect woman out there and that you’ll find her, it’s that glimmer of light inside and it’s ready to break out and do for you what you hope this perfect woman will. I’m not saying that you won’t find your soul mate or that you won’t find happiness in God – even, but you have to find it inside first. You want to talk clichés? No one can truly love you, until you truly love yourself.”

“I don’t know what light it is you see in me, but at this point it’s just dying embers.”

“Then stoke them. It’s up to you.”

“One last thing though about that perfect woman…”

“Stop looking for perfection, you’ll never find it. You’re not perfect. I’m not perfect. Perfect doesn’t exist.”

“I know…”

“Then what?”

“I was just going to say that along with the smile, she’d better love Bright Eyes.”

“Look at that, a smile.”

“I guess I was due.”

 

 

Written by josiahh

April 29, 2014 at 4:22 PM