When it Rings Will You Answer?

One and One and One is Three

Archive for May 2014

broken

leave a comment »

broken
abandoned
there isn’t a light
a father that’s clueless
a mother that tried
a sickness that won
children that paid
i’ll love you forever
but i won’t ever forgive

Written by josiahh

May 19, 2014 at 2:44 AM

Posted in Uncategorized

He Sits Alone and Drinks

leave a comment »

he sits alone and drinks
he doesn’t know how he ended up here
while he pours another he’ll reminisce
i used to be happy, he”ll think
i used to have friends
he sits alone and drinks
he sits alone and thinks it’s everyone else but him
it can’t be him
another swig and the anger seeps in
another swig and he feels the tears
he can’t remember the last time
anyone had even asked him how he was
he can’t remember if anyone had asked if he was okay
he sits alone and drinks
he’ll trace it back to her
her memory will take the brunt of his temper
he sits alone and drinks because she went away
she went away because he sits alone and drinks

Written by josiahh

May 18, 2014 at 9:20 PM

DAY EIGHTEEN – “A Destructive Force”

leave a comment »

“I love you so fucking much. Do you know that?”

“Of course I do and I love you too, but you and I both know that this just isn’t working.”

“Do we? I can’t picture waking up without you beside me.”

“You slept on the couch last night.”

“It was a figure of speech, darling.”

“And there is that tinge of resentment creeping into your voice. I’m so tired of feeling resented. I’m exhausted.”

“How can you think that? I don’t resent you. Not one single bit.”

“You gave up everything to move here and it’s not working. You’d have to be a machine to not even the littlest amount of resentment crawl into your heart. To be honest I feel it too.”

“You resent me?”

“I feel all this pressure from you. I feel like I have to be perfect to be the person you want me to be. I’m not perfect. I’m not that person. I’m a fucking wreck and it’s because of you. It’s because of how much I love you.”

“You think I don’t feel pressure? I had a career and friends and my family, and I put them all on the back burner to be here with you. To make this work. I didn’t make that decision lightly and I certainly didn’t make it alone. You practically begged me to move here.”

“I know. I know. I KNOW. I panicked. I thought I was losing you. I wasn’t ready for that to happen.”

“But you’re ready to lose me now? To lose us?”

“That’s not fair.”

“You’re fucking right it’s not fair. Nothing about this is fair. Fair isn’t even in the same fucking state as us.”

“I know and I’m sorry.”

“Oh. You’re sorry. Perfect. I guess everything will be peachy keen now.”

“What do you want from me? I’m trying to be honest with you and all you can do is stick to your passive aggressive sarcasm routine. Do you want me to pretend that everything is okay? I’ll wear a plastic smile until the day I die if that’s what will make you happy.”

“I want you to love me. I want you to be happy. I want to be happy.”

“And are you? Happy? I do love you. I love you with every last ounce of my soul, but I’m not happy. I haven’t been happy for a very long time. You can lie to yourself and to me as much as you want but you haven’t been happy either. I can see it in your eyes and I can feel it when you kiss me.”

“No. I’m not happy, but I still think we can be.”

“Deep down, do you really?”

“I love you. Isn’t that what matters?”

“I love you too. Please understand that I do. But sometimes love isn’t enough. Sometimes love is more destructive than constructive. We’re killing each other. We are. You have to see it. You have to feel it.”

“Maybe we’re meant to.”

“Kill each other? I don’t think I love you quite enough to kill you.”

“Well, I guess that’s something.”

“It’s a start.”

“So, this is really it?”

“I think it has to be.”

“For good? I mean, forever?”

“For now.”

 

DAY SEVENTEEN – “A Treehouse”

leave a comment »

I realized that this is a writing challenge. It doesn’t have to be a creative writing challenge. So, here we are. I am going to just keep typing until something comes to me. Treehouse. Treehouse. Treehouse. I was never an adventurous kid. I was always insanely cautious. I didn’t climb trees. The thought of getting stuck or falling was far too terrifying. My dad built us a treehouse when we lived in Thornbury. It was “late eighties/early nineties safe” and also had a balance beam for my sister.

The only real memory I have of the treehouse is that balance beam. For as cautious as I was, I was still a stupid little boy and that balance beam was the exact height of my stupid little head. I was outside, throwing a ball in the air and hitting it around the yard, emulating Joe Carter as best I could. I got a hold of one and launched it. Now, you hit a dinger, you’re supposed to take your time with the “home run trot,” but not this kid. Oh no, I was all about the hustle. I raised my arms in the air and ran as fast as I could. Rounding second base is where it all went wrong. I must have missed it entirely when in the midst of my celebration, fist pump run and gotten off course. Within seconds I was on the ground and crying my stupid little eyes out. How one can go from jubilation to pure sorrow in a matter of seconds is always a sight to see.

That balance beam gave me a goosebump for the ages on my forehead. More importantly, it taught me to show some class when you hit a monster shot out of the yard. You’ve got to show the pitcher some respect, even if that pitcher was yourself. Young Josiah learned karma that day. Then ran into a door knob and got a matching goosebump on the other side of his forehead, but that is a story for another time.

 

DAY FIFTEEN/SIXTEEN – “An Animal with Super Power”/”An Unlikely Pair”

leave a comment »

“I have a pitch meeting with the network in fifteen minutes and I’ve got absolutely nothing to pitch. I’m up shit creek here, pal.” Lenny paced back and forth while his friend Phil offered him a solution,

“Take a hit of this,” he held out a fully packed bong and lighter. “It’ll get those creative juices flowing.”

“You want me to go into a meeting with the network, high?! Are you crazy or just stupid?”

“Stoned, man. Stoned.”

“Christ. Okay, how about this, a comedy about a group of friends that live in New York and they hang out at a coffee shop and fuck, I’m just pitching Friends.”

“I like it.” Phil offered. “You know what you should do though?”

“No! I don’t. Hence the shit creek. Tell me Bob Marley, what should I do?”

“Okay – so there’s this dog and it’s got like super powers and its sidekick is a cat and like they fight crime and shit and then the super villain or like you know the nemesis or whatever is a fucking animal control guy who is secretly plotting to kill all the animals in the world. Fuck yeah. I’d watch that.”

“You’ve smoked yourself completely stupid.”

“Nah man. I think I can still get dumber.”

“Well, fuck. A dog and a cat, fighting crime together. Why not. It’s not like they’ll laugh me out of the room.”

“Exactly, man. Just walk in like you own the fucking place. Confidence, dude. Like that fucking cat and dog, man.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah man.”

DAY FOURTEEN – “Instructions to a Simple Task”

leave a comment »

Danny sat in the middle of  an uncomfortable couch located at the front of the office. It was leather and looked beautiful. She figured it must have cost an awful lot but it was also rock solid. She felt as though she were sat on a slab of marble. She flipped through an old copy of NOW Magazine before putting it down and retreating into her own head. She was nervous. She was anxious. She was petrified of what was about to happen. It was a simple job interview but she needed it badly. To say Danny had been struggling this past year would be understatement. She’d fallen backward into old patterns after losing her job to “cutbacks” and a “bad economy.”

“People just don’t read anymore,” her former editor told her as he rubbed her lower back. “I have to make some difficult decisions when it comes to our writing staff. It’s come down to you and TJ and I need to know that you’re willing to go the extra mile.” His hand remained on her lower back. “Are you willing to go that extra mile, Danny?” Danny felt her skin crawl. She couldn’t believe what was happening. Here she stood, her livelihood on the line and this man she’d once respected attempting to parlay that into some sort of sexual advantage. Danny walked out of her former editor’s office that day and never looked back. From the office she went straight to the bar and also never looked back.  She regretted not reporting her harasser to the police, or the very least, to the owners of the newspaper. There was still time, she thought. Karma will get that man. I will make sure of that.

Danny spent the majority of her time drinking and arguing with different strangers in different dark rooms. She joked with them all that she was a walking cliché; an out of work writer that drinks too much and writes too little. She’d woken up one morning in the apartment of one of those strangers, splitting headache and no memory of what had happened. She decided then that she had had enough.

The interview was with an upstart blogging website called, “RISE.” It dealt largely in politics but also dabbled in music, art, and film. Danny had been reading it for some time now and when she finally decided to contact the editors to ask about job openings, she got a reply almost immediately to “come in and chat.”

She hoped to hell that there was a woman in that room waiting for her. She then began to get upset that she felt she had to hope that. Once again her nerves were taking over. Danny held out her hand and saw that it was shaking. She needed a drink. She was letting anxiety get the best of her and felt a panic attack coming on. Not again, she thought. Not this time. This potential job means too much. She felt she was losing control and the marble slab began to feel more like a cast-iron frying pan at full heat. She opened her purse and dug through it. She felt for her flask. It was cold in her hand. She wanted desperately to take it out and drink it down. She let it go and continued to dig. She found what she was looking for. It was a note from her father that she’d carried with her since she was thirteen. It contained the simplest of instructions that always seemed to help her. All it said was, Remember to breathe, kiddo. I love you. Danny took a deep breath and exhaled.

“Danny?” She heard a voice call. Danny looked up and smiled.

“That’s me.”

“Come on back, Danny. Let’s find out if you’re ready to Rise.”

DAY THIRTEEN – “A Bad Monument”

leave a comment »

I HAVE NOTHING TO WRITE. DAY THIRTEEN, YOU WIN. HERE IS A PICTURE OF A BAD MONUMENT INSTEAD.*

Vigeland Sculpture Park – “Man Attacked by Babies”

 

*OR AWESOME, DEPENDING ON YOUR BABY KICKING VIEWS

Written by josiahh

May 13, 2014 at 7:53 PM