Pen 15 Club

There is just something about a great pen. I find that ‘creatively’ I am at my best when I have found a pen that I love. I am at my worst when I am using a pen that I hate. A bad pen leads to bad writing. I am currently writing this with a terrible pen. If I decide to type it up, I apologize in advance and you can rest easy knowing that I am thoroughly ashamed of myself for doing so.

I am dead serious though when it comes to pens. I hate this pen. I hate it so much. Look at what hating this pen has caused me to produce. DAMN YOU LOUSY “UNI 1.0 JETSTREAM” PEN! Before this awfulness I was using this fan-freaking-tastic felt tip pen. I think it was a Pilot. With that pen I was on the verge of writing the next great American novel (from a Canadian perspective, of course). Sadly, my Pilot died and with it, so too did The Great Gatsby Jr.. I’m telling you folks, Gatsby Jr. would have been my 1984.

I suppose you are asking yourself two questions right now:

1. Why am I still reading this?

and

2. Why doesn’t this jackass just go out and buy a new pen?

Well friend, I can’t help you with your first question. What you choose to do on the internet is between you and your ISP. As for your second question, I am glad you asked. You see, I don’t buy pens. I find them. It is part of my ‘process,’ and yes, I am aware of how unbelievably douchey it is to talk about your process. I’m sorry. Pens are a luck of the draw, karmic, kismet,  ka sort of deal for me. I love finding them. I don’t steal them, but if they have been left behind somewhere, they become mine. When I find a pen that is amazing, there is no limit to the awesome that will flow (I use ‘awesome’ VERY loosely). The worst though, is when I find a pen that looks cool and then turns out to be poop like the one I am currently writing this with. You see the results? This is damning evidence, people. Again, I am sorry.

I had planned on trying to write something meaningful today before work, but I fear that it simply is not in the cards. Instead, you get this and now I am going to sit on my couch and watch “Brave.” I don’t care who knows it. You are judging me through your computer screen right now, I can feel it, but I can also deal with it. So it goes.

Love always,

josiah