When it Rings Will You Answer?

One and One and One is Three

Last night I had a dream that we went to Disney Land

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…went on all the rides, didn’t have to wait in line

Okay, that did not really happen, it is an Ataris song. However, last night I did have a random dream. I was at a Mad Caddies show. I believe the Opera House was the venue, although details have become hazy this morning and I might just be throwing the Opera House in the mix because that is where I saw them play over a decade ago. Seriously, the last time I saw the Mad Caddies was when they opened for NOFX in 2002 (shit, I just remembered as I was typing this that the show was at the Kool Haus, but I am too lazy to hit the delete button, editing is for dorks).

Where was I? Right, so, Harriet was all like, “Bitch please, er’body knows that Spiderman 3 was the best movie ever made.” Wrong story…hold on, let me just try to get back on track here…dream…Mad Caddies…Opera House…alright, got it…sorry ’bout that friendo…

So, I am at the Opera House (we’ll just stick with it) and the Mad Caddies are on stage. There are three other people in the crowd and they were Japanese. I guess we were the last bastion of the fortieth wave ska revival. I decided to camp out at the side of the stage, arms crossed and nodding my head (but skanking my little ska heart out on the inside). Despite the lack of crowd, the Caddies were killing it on stage. The other three people in the crowd were drinking heavily. They were becoming more and more belligerent. Picture if you will the scene from Kill Bill when Gogo Yubari is sitting at the bar drinking with the really drunk guy. Now picture three of those drunk guys at a random ska show in Toronto.

I am growing increasingly incensed at their shouting and general lack of courtesy towards the band on stage. I notice that the apparent ring leader of the group is trying to get up on stage. He is too drunk to accomplish his goal. He sets his sights instead on the set list taped to the stage. There is always someone at the show who wants the set list, but most will wait until the show is over to ask for it. This particular patron of ska decides that he wants, nay, he NEEDS that setlist RIGHT NOW. His first initial grab for the setlist is met by a stomp to the hand from the trumpet player. However, this does not deter said drunken fool from several more attempts.

The band was clearly becoming frustrated and the vibe in the room had soured. One more grab for the setlist and I had finally had enough. I grabbed him by the shoulder and he pushed me off. He tried for the list again and I grabbed him by the shoulder once more. He then swung for the fences (by fences I mean my face) and missed due to his beer induced lack of coordination. I have never punched someone in my life, but apparently in my dreams I pack one hell of a punch because I dropped him with one good shot. Security dragged him away. The room was suddenly packed and the Mad Caddies broke into “All American Badass.”

I have no idea what it all means (for instance, why were the drunk dudes Japanese?), or why this random dream is the one I decided to share, but if the Mad Caddies announce a show in Toronto any time soon, I plan to avoid it.



Written by josiahh

June 10, 2012 at 9:50 AM

Posted in Uncategorized

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