When it Rings Will You Answer?

One and One and One is Three

Are We Really Happy With Who We Are?

with one comment

Ask yourself. Ask yourself.

I can tell you explicitly that I am not.

I am not happy with where I am physically, emotionally or professionally.

Physically, I am an out of shape mess. Emotionally, I am and have always been an absolute train wreck. Professionally, well, I’m a 27 year old receptionist who is not likely to run off with the boss Don Draper styles.

Who is to blame for my current state?

My parents for splitting up when I was 8? The first 3 girls who shattered my heart? The system? No. Nobody to blame but me.

I’m tired and cranky all the time because I sit on my ass watching TV and playing video games.

I’m miserably single because, well, see above, but also because I consciously or subconsciously put myself into situations that are doomed from the start.

So, pray tell, what is an out of shape, slightly depressed 27 year old single male to do?

Buck up. Quit whining. Eat healthier. Start jogging. Find something, somewhere or someone to vent. Talk to that pretty (single) girl.

No one is owed anything in this life. I can complain all I want about my lot but for every sob story I have to tell, there are a million other people who can top it.

I woke up two days ago, took a look in the mirror and was absolutely disgusted and I don’t just mean physically (although, that too). I saw a sorry excuse for a man. To be honest, I didn’t even see a man. I saw the same selfish little prick I have been since the age of 12. Closed off and telling the world to go fuck itself. A defence mechanism that is no longer acceptable for me to use.

I dragged my ass down to the gym and did so again the next day and plan to again and again. I will make a morning run a daily routine. It really does wonders to clear ones’ mind.

Do I believe running everyday will solve all of my problems? Of course not, but it is a healthy step that two days into, already has me feeling better about things.

I am not sure the exact reason for writing this. It is not a cry for help or a cry for attention. I guess I just needed to write it down.

I’m tired of being tired and I have decided that being sad is no longer an option for me. I’d say this was my manifesto, but it’s horribly written and self-indulgent.  If you read this, my apologies. I am a work in progress.

Love always,

Josiah

 

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Written by josiahh

July 10, 2011 at 10:27 AM

Posted in Uncategorized

One Response

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  1. your a good man, and no one can change it. you will succeed because you are Josiah. Good luck in your mission.

    anonymous

    July 10, 2011 at 10:55 PM


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